A Letter to My Teenage Self

Dear Younger Me,

Hey there! How are you? How is school going? I know there must be so many exciting things happening right now! Are you still too shy to talk to that boy you're crushing on? You shouldn't be! You are all kinds of awesome, so don't be afraid to say 'Hi' next time you see him. I'm certain he isn't your soulmate, but hey, it's never too early to start getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Who am I that I dispense such sage advice? Well, I'm YOU! Okay okay...I do have a few more gray hairs and fine lines to share with the world, but technically we are still the same person. You have been on my mind a lot lately, and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I'm turning 40 next month and my version of a mid-life crisis is sharing what I wish I had known 20 years ago. (And if we're being honest, as far as mid-life crises go, this one is pretty mild.) Or, maybe it's because I will have a teenager of my own in a couple of years and I want to help give him a leg up. (Although, now that I think about it, unless he is some new species of teenager, he probably won't even listen to me). Regardless of the reason, it seems that the further I get from the past, the more I think about it in the present. Now I find myself in one of life's happiest seasons - some amazing things have just happened, and it has made me realize that there is so much I wish you had known. But, better late than never, right? I have much to share with you, so here goes...

First of all, high school is awkward, #amiright?

But here's the thing: it is awkward for everyone. You know that really popular girl that is beloved by all? The one who seems to have it all together? I know she seems like she has it all figured out and is the walking embodiment of confidence, but guess what? High school is awkward for her too. She may hide it well, but deep down she is trying to figure it all out just like everyone else. The worst kept secret is that no one is qualified for high school. I mean, who could possibly be prepared to take on something so complicated at the most fragile time of your life? So when you feel like the spotlight is on you and you just keep floundering around, know that you aren't alone. You are just like everyone else. Everyone feels nervous and confused, and they are all trying to find where they fit in. It is true that for some it may come easier than others, but no one gets there right away. So try new things, and if they don't work out, try more new things. Make new friends, and if the relationships don't click, make more new friends. Just keep trying until you find the things and the people that you connect with, and once you do, embrace them both.

Second, you are also not like everyone else.

Okay, I know I just said that you were, but what I mean is that what you are feeling isn't unique but you are. You are one of a kind and you will carve your own path that will lead you to do amazing things. You will go further than you ever imagined, even though it may take some time to hit your stride. You will try things that scare you, over and over again, and you will surprise yourself with what you accomplish along the way. You will stumble more than once, and you will often find yourself unsure of what comes next, but you will trust that how you react to adversity is character defining. So, every time you fall down you will pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and put one foot in front of the other. You will keep moving forward, even though it will be overwhelming and at times completely terrifying. But even when you feel most alone, you will have friends and family there to support you every step of the way.

Speaking of friends, love them fiercely while they are in your life, but know that at some point you may part ways.

As much as I wish it were true that every friend you pour into will hang around, life just doesn't work that way. Yes, some of the friendships you have made will stand the test of time. You will remain connected through your 20's and 30's. Your kids will meet their kids, and you will watch them play together while catching up on the craziness of life. You will cheer for their personal and professional success from the sidelines, and they will do the same for you. You will hold these people dear, because you both have literally 'grown up' together. Keep them close, and invest in them because it will be worth it.

However, you will also have friends who break your heart. It may be intentional or not, but it will sting nonetheless. No matter what, I want you to know this: People enter and exit our lives all the time, remaining only for a season. The relationship you shared with them is a valuable part of your life, even if the friendship dissolves. Because you have invested in them and allowed yourself to be vulnerable, it will hurt for a time. But you will be OK, because you will find new people for new seasons of life.

Lastly, always choose kindness and if you can, learn to laugh at yourself.

Kindness and humor go a long way. Everyone is looking for a bit of levity in life, seeking a break from everyday monotony and stress. So when you face a situation where you aren't sure what the right choice is, choose the one where kindness prevails. Even if your gestures go unnoticed or unappreciated, you are making small deposits into someone else's bank of encouragement. They may not realize it immediately, but they will remember it. You will find that being a blessing to others is addicting, in the best way. Also, when you start to feel overwhelmed by a situation, do your best to find the humor in it. Laughter is good for the mind, body and soul. It serves as a therapeutic cleanser, allowing you to more easily take a step back and avoid acting hastily. It puts others at ease, and fosters good will. And it is impossible to overstate the value and impact of relationship currency in your life.

Well, I think that's all! (Although you know me....I could probably go on for pages.) You have the journey of a lifetime ahead of you, and I can't wait for you to see what comes. Embrace it all...the good and the bad, but always strive to find the positive. You will be glad you did.

Sincerely,

Older Me